Man, I have totally missed writing in this style. Rock on, internet! Rock on.
Since Rusty has gone before, blazing the path in the high grass by the sheer mass of his incessant druge use, I am powerless to do all but follow.

BOOK REVIEW

(about books)*

The Jannissary Tree, by Jason Goodwin

Is a good book about the 1850s in the Ottoman Empire! It is probably very historically accurate.

THINGS I FOUND PROBLEMATIC ABOUT THIS BOOK;

The hero is a eunuch, right? But he has sex with someone. What is up with that? How does that even work?

The whole story ends with a goddamn rooftop denounement in which the villain orates his villanious plan and offers for the hero to join him, then BY SHEER NARRATIVE CO-INCEDENKY is foiled by the equalivent of a falling girder.

Seriously, this is not a good detective novel.

THINGS I LIKED ABOUT THIS BOOK;

Surprisingly enough, the few bits in which the hero was left alone to cook and ponder life in general were really enjoyable. Restful? Yes.

WHO I WOULD RECCOMEND THIS BOOK TO;

Ottoman's from the 1850s, Eunuchs, dudes who enjoy reading about eunuchs and 1850s Ottomania. Ottomanisms? Ottomantiaries?

Light, by M. John Harrison (who also has a great blog

Is one of the best science fiction books I have ever read. It is A Novel, which, you know, means it is Serious Business. But it is also a science fiction book! It is all full of beautiful words.

THINGS I LIKED ABOUT THIS BOOK;

Magical dice, wierd narrative slices, horrible evil horse's skull, masturbating about cousins, acceptance that there are mysteries we cannot understand, unacceptance that there are mysteries we cannot understand, a pervading sense of powerful narrative

THINGS THAT I LIKED LESS ABOUT THIS BOOK;

The ending was sort of really weird, seriously, what? And then he what? What?

THINGS ABOUT THE BACK-COVER OF THE BOOK;

The reason I bought the book was the back-cover, which said;

On the barren surface of an asteroid, located deep in the galaxy beneath the unbearable light of the Kefuhachi Tract, lie three objects: an abandoned spacecraft, a pair of bone dice covered with strange symbols, and a human skeleton. What they are and what they mean are the mysterious explored and unwrapped in Light, M. John Harrison's triumphant return to science fiction.

This would have been a good story, I think, except it is totally not the story the book is about.

Please think about your back covers a bit more throughly, M. John Harrison.

PEOPLE WHO WOULD LIKE THIS BOOK;

Dudes who are smart, dudes who are artistic, dudes who freak out whenever they see a horses skull, Iain M. Banks, chicks who are hot for Iain M. Banks maybe

PEOPLE WHO WOULD NOT LIKE THIS BOOK;

Rusty.

*BOOKS